1. You Spend Too Much Time Trying To Stay Popular
When you have friends, particularly in Middle School, High School and University, you see them very often. Sometimes you may even be one of the popular ones in your group, and that feeling of being popular is thrilling.
It gives us a sense of instant importance. So it leaves us worried that if we split from the group for too long, we will lose our place as the popular one.
In fact though, leaving your group when necessary, can improve your long term popularity. As the more self accomplished you are, the more people will know your name and want to be like you, or around you. It’s not easy to be the one that prioritizes their life over fun, as most people, young people, are in constant hunger of fun.
So be stronger than everyone in your group, when you have an assignment to do, go do it, when you have a lecture, attend it. When you got work to do, do it. When it’s time to go to the gym, go. And throughout your day remember to keep your mind brainstorming on other ways you can improve your life such as how you spend your money, invest, save.
2. You’re Worried You Will Lose Your Friends
We all know growing up that our friend group has changed many times. Especially if your an international student. So when you do make friends that you really enjoy the company of, you may be worried you will lose them, and you will stop being invited to things.
You can’t let this fear keep you chained to them though. Eventually everyone in that group will grow apart, as we all get older, get jobs, start families. So, it’s best to be the one in the group that has made something of themselves. Graduate successful, with good grades, get a good job, start a business, and you will be the one who can hold on to the most friends as you have the most financial freedom to see them all.
Whereas if you are the friend that always stuck to the group like glue, and never self improved. You will be stuck in one country, at the same job, with only enough money to pay the bills and go out once a month.
So, what should you do? Don’t worry about losing your friends, the real ones are there whether they get your 24/7 attention or not. Work on yourself while they work on themselves and when you graduate, you will graduate keeping the friends in your group that worked just as hard as yourself to be successful.
3. You’re Scared You’ll Never Do Better Than Them
In life it’s easy to feel lonely, to feel bored, to feel like things don’t get better. So when you find a group of friends that make you happy at least once everyday, it becomes like a drug. You go back everyday to feel happy again and again, but drugs eventually take on a bad effect.
The point of that metaphor is that your worried if you lose your friends, you won’t be happier later on in life or you just don’t like the feeling of going the day without that happy feeling. If that’s the case, than get your self improvement checklist done early, and go have fun with your friends later. They aren’t going anywhere.
4. You’re Procrastinating
When you wake up in your room every morning, You know what needs to get done, and the more you let build up that needs to get done, the more the stress will build. The more stress you let build, the less productive you will be getting your work done. This whole process is called procrastinating. You wake up and instead of getting your work done, the first thing your brain wants is stimulation. So you think of the two things humans think of the most, food and human interaction.
You need to break that cycle, first thing you need to do in the morning is mentally prepare yourself for the day. Understand what needs to get done and why. Make sure everyday you wake up, you become a better person and are closer to being who you imagine yourself to be in the future. Time alone won’t get you there. The work you put in gets you there. More work you do, the shorter the time span will be to your goals.
Stop procrastinating, use your mornings to keep becoming a better person. Then by the afternoon, go out and see your friends, enjoy your day.
5. You’re Overthinking About Someone In The Group
One last thing that may be happening to you. You like someone. There’s someone in a certain group of friends you have that you like. Or maybe you’re already dating. So you keep going to that group everyday to not only spend time with friends but to see that certain person you like. The love hormones are making you obsessed and you can’t get them out of your head. You want them around 24/7.
You need to take a break. Not a week. Not a whole day even. Just a few hours. If you want anyone to notice you, firstly yes you need to be around them so they build attraction to you. But you also need to show that your independent, you have a life. Secondly, if you are dating, than this is the time where you two have committed yourselves to each other. You two can see each other privately, so you don’t need to spend so much time in the group to keep them interested. They will be more interested in you if they see you improving. You may even motivate them to do the same and there you go, you have made you two a power couple.
When your interested in someone, work on yourself, that’s the best way to catch attention. The better you are, the more your valued.
To conclude, if your spending too much time with your friends and putting them before yourself, your degree and your health. Than you’ve gone to university to be worse off than you started. This is the time where yes, you make friends, you party, but most importantly, you get your degree to either go on to chase your dreams, make a lot of money, or both. Once your making money or chasing your dreams, your going to be a lot happier than you were in university. So keep working to make the future better for yourself.
P.S, a good movie to watch that shows how much putting in the effort can change your life, is Limitless.